Jess' Dress Mess

A painter named Jess made a mess,
She spilled some paint onto her dress,
The children all stared,
But then they got scared,
So they all went home to play chess.

Martian Monroe

There was a green UFO,
Thirty feet wide or so.
A martian came out,
And without a doubt,
It had to be Marilyn Monroe.

Fly By

A small bird was flying too high,
The other birds all wondered why,
It's so high overhead,
It must surely be dead,
So the largest bird let out a sigh.

Pete's Stinkin' Feet

Pete had some stinky feet,
They reeked of rotten meat.
He took off his shoes,
And sipped on some booze,
And passed out right on the street.

A Toad's Trash

I saw a thing on the road,
From my humble abode.
There was no mystery,
As to it's history,
It was left there by a toad.

Unlucky Ducky

Ronald was an old duck,
Who had clearly run out of luck.
He was stuck in the rain,
And was hit by a train,
And then by a pickup truck.

Bob's Cruel Death

Bob was an utter tool,
A completely useless fool.
Then one day he died,
And no one cried,
Which his mother thought was quite cruel.

Mysterious Dr. Pat

Dr. Pat was extremely fat,
His face looked much like a rat.
He was very short,
Though I must report,
He wore an extravegent hat.

Smart Fart Thompson

Thompson let out a fart,
He was still a boy at heart.
Then he lit a match,
And started to scratch,
Which wasn't very smart.

Rock Star Turned Zoo Keeper

Marty was drinking some gin,
Because he was a has-been.
He left his band,
With cash in hand,
To open a zoo in Berlin.

Ed's Pizza Gorgemundo

Ed ate a pizza for brunch,
And two or three more for lunch.
He won't get much thinner,
If he has one for dinner,
If one follows their hunch.

Tricky Thief

A thief had a trick up it's sleeve,
That served to deceive the naive.
He never was caught,
Or so he thought,
Until it was time to leave.

Baby Gone Wild

A baby was eating some cheese,
As he crawled around on his knees.
He pooped in his pants,
As he drooled on the plants,
And filled his nostrils with peas.

Bubba Goes Huntin'

Bubba was hunting some geese,
To give to his favorite niece.
But his neice was his mom,
And was kind of dumb,
So he left the poor birds in peace.

Marionette Debt Collection

Brett is a marionette,
Whose face I'll never forget.
For I lent him some cash,
And his face I will smash,
If he dosn't repay his debt.