Trucker Dog

A dog had a hat on his head,
"Trucker" is what the hat said,
But the dog could not drive,
And he did not survive,
So the trucker dog is now dead.

Midget Rider Part 1

A midget was riding a goat,
So that he could cross the moat.
He arrived at the gates,
And undid his skates,
And donned his sheepskin coat.

To be continued...

Brent's Tent

Brent went into the tent,
It was clearly made of cement.
When he came out,
There was no doubt,
This was an odd event.

Monkey Cycling Party

Three monkeys rode on a bike,
It was something that all of them liked.
When one fell off the side,
The other two sighed,
"Again we must stop and get Mike."

Slime Drive

A farmer bought a new truck,
And drove it around in some muck.
Deep in the sludge,
The truck would not budge,
So the farmer cried "My truck is stuck!"

Today is Boxing Day

Today is Boxing Day,
"So what?" is what you might say.
You get a good deal,
At the stores, dear Niel,
So get on your jolly way.

Bad Buoyancy

A pineapple fell off a boat,
And landed in a royal moat.
The king cried boo hoo,
What can I do?
My pineapples don't ever float.

Tree Troubles

An old man name Boris McGee,
Climbed to the top of a tree,
But Boris was big,
He broke off a twig,
And quickly fell into the sea.

Pierre's Hair Scare

One day a man named Pierre,
Decided to cut his own hair.
But his scissors did slip,
And he cut his own lip,
And gave poor Pierre quite a scare.

Opera Bar

A man drove his car to a bar,
And lit up a Cuban cigar.
He ordered a drink,
And tried to lip sync,
The songs of an opera star.

Goblin Sales

A goblin was selling fried rice,
At half his competitors price,
But being no fool,
He made up a rule,
That everyone had to pay twice.

Dog vs. Hog

A dog jumped over a log,
And landed on top of a hog.
They wrestled around,
All over the ground,
Until they fell in a bog.

Fleeing Feline

An old man purchased a cat.
He kept its leash tied to his hat.
When the cat ran away,
It took his toupe,
And the old man shouted "Oh Drat!".

Unlucky Duck

A bird flew past a blue duck.
The duck had the most awful luck.
The bird hit its side,
And they both sank and died,
And the duck said the bird was a schmuck.

War Boar

A boar came home from the war,
He barely fit through the door.
His pants fell down,
In the middle of town,
And everyone fell to the floor.

Gizzard Pie

There once was a magical wizard,
He cooked up a pie made of gizzard.
He ate it all up,
Then threw up in his cup,
And later died in a blizzard.

Roller Cop Blues

There once was a grand old roller cop,
He slipt on a patch of pig slop.
He fell on his face,
Oh, what a disgrace,
The cop had to retrieve a mop .

Pig Wig

A pig was wearing a wig,
It was quite clearly much to big.
It fell off his head,
And he thought he was dead,
So his family did a grand jig.

Gnome Dome Extravaganza

A gnome fell into a dome,
It was much bigger than his home.
He slept in a chair,
And then on a dare,
Fashioned a shoe made of foam.

Welcome

It is I, the God of Limericks who beckons ye to read my entrancing rhymes of glory and regency at every available opportunity bestowed upon you.